2002-05-03 23:22:04 (UTC)

happy thoughts

i cant get you off of my mind.
im so fucking excited to see you tomorrow.
i cant wait to hug you and touch you
and kiss you. oh my god. you just
have no idea.
i miss you so much. this trip has made things
so blatantly obvious to me.
its amazing. youre amazing.
look at what youre doing to me ashley.
just fucking look. its so incredible.
youre definitely the one now. not like you werent
before. but i think you know what i mean.
theres no like, well....to put it bluntly....theres no
cara. its just not there anymore.
and i think i kinda knew that the past few times i saw her.
but this time. wow. it just couldnt
be more obvious. and theres no need to keep so many
feelings somewhere else and with someone else
when theres no point, ya know? i could be giving
*you* all this love ive been giving her.
i want to give it to you.
i want you to have it all. all of it.
all of me.
im having this whole like, revelation.
i wish i were really there to tell you all this.
but i guess this is the next best thing.
i just feel so whole now.
like i know what i want. i know how i feel.
its so plan and simple...fucking simple.
my feelings have never been simple and mostly
with one person. its always been all scattered
and complex.
*sigh* i just wish you were here with me.
i want you everywhere with me. every minute.
i cant even talk to cara unless its about you.
i dont even do it on purpose. i guess i just
want to make it extremely obvious that im all about
you and only you...
...and i think shes catching on.
youre so the love of my life now.
you mean the world to me.
have a good day and give bob, mowie, silvia, and duckyyy
kisses for me. i miss them.
and shawn too. i miss him also.
ok hunny. write me back if you get a few.
i love you so much.