PINKBABYPHAT

soul survivor
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2002-05-03 20:16:32 (UTC)

this is stupid

dear journal

what a week this has been.
i met a really nice guy name mike. Here i am trying to
get to know him while he's trying to get to know me too.
but i think were moving a lil to fast. I mean he's already
assuming that i'll cheat on him on prom night, which i
can't say that i will or i won't. He's insecure about me
and him. but i just met him and his assuming all this
stuff telling what i can't do and what not.
Calling me his girl which i don't define his "girl yet" jsut
because were not in a serious relationship. when i
define someones girl is when i've been with someone
for a really longtime or if i'm engaged and getting
married thats when i define " i'm his girl" but right now
i'm not. Mike is so attach to me now it's not even funny,
i'm not that attach emotionally nor mentally right now it's
just a 1st bases thing where i'm getting to know him.
amanda was hanging out with travis and travis told her
to tell me to be careful. I have my guard up and i'm not
going to let it down until i'm certain. but right now my
friend misty says that he's heading toward the
controlling part. for one thing i won't put up with shit like
that hell no.
i'm 17 years old i have so much to do with my life where
i don't want to be held down for no reason especially
him. i'm going to U OF C in january. honestly what
makes him think that were going to be together for a
longtime? i don't know.
i believe it's because he wants to settle down cause
he's 24 and i'm 17. i'm just starting my life as an adult.
and he shouldn't be worried about me. because i''ve got
enough worrying as it is, for myself , friends and family
who knows me best.
i just don't get why he's freaking out about me. like
yesterday, he said that he doesn't know what he's
gonna do with me!!!! hello what does that mean, like i
don't understand that. i know that i can be a flirt
sometimes to ppl but thats life. and i know that he
hates it but thats me to handle things. just cause i
rubbed lotion on chris tattoo doesn't mean nothing.
i understand he doesn't like cheaters and i don't like
them either, but aleast respect me enough to know that
i won't. i admit that i'll probably will just cause of
lastyear alot stuff happended that no one would even
expect to happen at prom. then again i won't. so you
don't what will happen and you can't expect someone to
make a promise like that when your out getting wasted
with your friends but i know if i did cheat on him i'll
fucking come clean. he probably won't talk to me again
but at least i was honest about it and i got it off my
chest. but i really like i jsut got to watch out for myself.

lise


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