The Shadow of Myself
2002-05-03 03:57:56 (UTC)

empty rooms.. and over-flowing hearts..

It's just a little ironic that all the rooms are empty,
just the way we found them 8 months ago. We moved in with
high hopes and expectations. We learned that they might
not be met immediately but we later realized they would be
exceeded. Now we can walk through the hallway and the
silence is echoing all the memories that we shared
together. Next year, people just like us will move
in "our" rooms. They won't have any idea of the tears we
cried, or the jokes we laughed at repeatedly. They won't
know how it was for us but they don't need to know that.
The appearance of the empty rooms are no match for what we
feel as we think back on the year. Perhaps that is why
it's so difficult for us to look in them. It just reminds
of yet another thing that is changing, that we will have to
prepare ourselves for.

I'm starting to understand now, how many times that things
will change from now on. The times that were once filled
with familiarity are now gone. All the times to come will
bring new circumstances, new people, and new places.
Change is going to be something I learn how to deal with
comfortably. I just have to soak up everything I can to
take along to the next steps I'll go on. It's going to
take me longer to settle into things because I now have all
the memories of when I had to let things and people go to
hinder my emotions. I'm not as quick to give in. It's too
scary to let myself go right away. Everything is going to
take a little longer, but mean a little more.