Burningman dreamspace
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2002-05-02 19:40:50 (UTC)

can't shake it...

Why can't i shake this feeling that Tom's new outlook is a
sham? Why can't i believe that he really did need a push to
get back on track... instead my head says he's just being
this way to placate me and soon he'll be back to his old
grumpy self... but ya know - the person i hooked up with,
the person i was proud to be with really had been lost.
Maybe that is the REAL him and whatever i've been living
with for the past few months was someone else....

i can see why my parents felt the way they did - he was
weirdo in Hawaii. He's been a weirdo for months. Can i live
with him - forever - if he decides to stay that way in the
future? Talk about cold feet! Yikes!

So many doubts - so much fear.

Meanwhile my parents sure seem to be shifting. They seem to
really have accepted that they are screwed finacially and
it just isn't "working" anymore. They say they are going to
give the house back to the bank and move into a little
house to rent... What an interesting backslide - in their
minds anyways. i see it as reality. There seems to be some
relief around all of this though - and i really hope it
works out for them....

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