Everyday Shit
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2002-05-02 14:00:41 (UTC)

I love you, I hate you, Go away.....

I need a clean break from Anthony. It's been about 9 months
since our break up and we're like a light switch on and

He always says he loves me and stuff but that I hurt him
when I broke up with him. But ever since then it's been
more fucked up than ever. I asked for his senior picture
and he said he ran out but yet he had them to pass out at
work and to whoever he meets...Then he says he wants to see
me but won't Drive anywhere, spend any money, or go
anywhere but his house. Everytime I can I ask him to do
something he says it isn't good for him or he just cancels
last minute. Then he told me that he loves me and told all
his friends that I'm just so damn despirate. The factors
just keep adding up in this equation.

I just have to not talk to him. I love him. Always have.
Those two years weren't for nothing. I gave him everything
that I was physically, emotionally and mentally. He just
wore me down to the point where there was nothing left of

It'll be easier if I just put him out of mind's eye. Out of
sight is out of mind....I know sometimes I get those set
backs where your lying in bed. And even though it's warm
inside the covers you feel so cold and alone. You start to
reminise and think about the past.

Think about those times when you laughed...cried... held
each other....made love. Just so much...too much. I can't
have it breaking me down ya know? It's so hard for me to
unveil myself like that. Perhaphs that's why I can't detach
myself from this.

I can do it this time I think. I've started that whole
dating thing recently...so that's good. I love my family.
My friends rule...well at least the ones who haven't called
me a whore/bitch. Other than a few minor set backs in my
life it's good and I can really go out there on my own.

I think......


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