2002-05-02 09:46:00 (UTC)


I think what I probably have is a perforated eardrum and
everything I read says it heals on its own within a couple
of months. The only problem is infection and I'm on
antibiotics so that's covered. I'm lucky there isn't any

Even though it was cool outside it was up to 109 degrees in
the greenhouse today and my plants were wilting. A good
dose of water fixed that but I'll have to remember to leave
the door open in the daytime so I won't cook my seedlings.

I watched Oprah yesterday. The program was on a survey
which indicated that some women don't realize that their
fertility begins to decline at a much younger age than they
expect (27 years) until it's late and it isn't all that easy
to get pregnant when you are in your late 30s. This is
something I knew.

When I married at 30 I talked to my mother about my worry
that I might not be able to have children. She laughed and told me that
the women in my family had had the opposite problem--how not to have too
many children too quickly. Well, she was right. I had four
children in less than five years; I was 36 when the youngest
was born. My sister was born when my mother was 37 and my
grandmother had a child at age 42 so I think the idea that
looking at one's family history can give one some clues is a
good one. The only thing I learned from the show was that while fertilized
eggs can be frozen, there hasn't been much success with
unfertilized ones. Women can't have it all or at least they
can't have it all at once. It doesn't seem fair but there
it is.

I think I had my children at the best time. I was old enough
to have some idea of what I was getting into, I'd had a decade
to do what I wanted to do and didn't feel I'd been cheated out
of living my own life, and I was fairly financially secure. I also
still had some energy left. It's tough sometimes being the mother
of teenagers at age fifty-two but I think about the mothers who
have their children in their early forties. I don't envy them
still raising teenagers in their late fifties and early sixties. It's
tough keeping up with their schedules!

John told me one of his co-workers is upset because she
spent $180 on her daughter's prom dress and her date is
taking her out to dinner at Papa's Pizza. Turns out a large
crowd is planning to go there, Hugh and Heidi included.