JustMe

Everyday Shit
2002-05-02 03:35:32 (UTC)

Bandages can fix it?

I stopped talking to MaryAnn and Eric altogether. That
night I went online and Eric flipped. I cried, then wne to
bed and wanted to die.

Am I a bad person? Am I a whore? Am I a Bitch? Did I
change? What's wrong with me?

Answer: Nothing. I'm just alittle lost inside. But the only
real person I've dated is Joe and it didn't work out.

Days later I break down and burry the hatchet with Eric. I
tried with MaryAnn but her way of saying things is..Kim I'm
sorry for the otehr night...but uhh yeah your a bitch still
htought I'd let you know. So fuck that. I'm not accepting
that kind of apology. More Days go by and she goes through
my friends and tells them to tell me she isn't mad....Well
isn't that nice? SHE isnt mad at ME?

Good. I'm still hurt. She left me bleeding on the floor and
didn't care to even mop it up. Nice. God damn. Now over 2
weeks has gone by and her prom came and went. She started
hanging around with Tom and Matt with Lexi. She told Nikki
and Lexi to make sure they tell me Matt likes her and
thinks SHE's HOT!! I told them I'm happy for her haha.

I'm trying ot be the bigger person in this but it's hard.
Eric and I are better. I love him. Not sure in what way I
mean it by but I do. He keeps me regular you could say
haha.


I went to the movies with Joelle and all of JOe's friends.
I saw Anthony there and I ran out of the theatre. I cried
all the way to Joelle's car and then pushed Joe so far away.
That night I found out how much I couldn't let anyone else
in. Too many are inside as it is. I can't share myself.

It hurt so much. Couple days later online he and I fought
and I cried and then we talked on the phone and it was OK.
It's hard to beak way from him.




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