2001-06-02 00:57:04 (UTC)

Quiet----In a World Full of Thunder

Another long night. I had a fabulous conversation
w/Clarence last night. Well half way fabulous, though some
of it disturbed me a little. I had mentioned before that he
has this exfiance that is stupid and he wants her back, but
she's dumb enough to say no. Well, they are trying
to "remain" back friends and see if their relationship can
work out...her apartment isn't ready for her to move into
yet so she has been STAYING WITH HIM FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS.

But I guess he still loves her and wants to rekindle but
she does't and won't. So he is miserable. I told him I had
been through the same things w/Nathan, and I finally had to
let him go.

That girl is stupid. I would KILL for someone like him. He
encomposses every dream that I have ever had. And she
treats him like crap. He loves her so much, and she won't
love him in return. Dang, I wish I had the opportunity that
she has in front of her.

Im going to give you a little snippet of our conversation...

Him: you are still my sunshine

ME: :-D no you're my sunshine.

Him: if you say so. Sunshine, Im sorry I haven't called
you lately, or dropped by to see mom, or even sent you more
flowers. I've been going through alot.

ME: Yeah, I know. I stopped by your house on day last
week and Marcos said that you were working hella OT and
going though personal trauma. So I'd figure I'd wait it

Him: I just don't know what to do. How can I continue ot
love someone who doesn't give a care?

ME: Trust me. I know what your going through sometimes
you just have to say goodbye. Times will be hard, do what you got to do. You have to look out for
yourself, because they obviously are not.

Him: I love talking to you, You are so beautiful and you
have so much wisdom. You make me feel like a million
bucks. I just hope that I have some kind of affect on you
and this isn't unrequited affection. :)

ME:You make me smile....Even when my heart is
shattered into a million different pieces scattered from
here to the ends of the earth. Even though Im on an
emotional/physical and spirtual rollercoaster, you
still..somehow. out of all the depths of everything that
has happened as of late...make me smile

Him: you bring light in to my life which has been darkend
by the the cloud of pain that plagues my heart

ME: You give me hope that there is a rainbow after the
storm. Your quiet in a world full of thunder

Him: please dont say that

Him: you are making me blush

ME: why not?

Him: and thats hard cause I am a dark brother

ME: it's the truth. this shouldn't be things that i
tell you. that girl that is asleep in your bed...if she had
any good sense she would proclaim these things to you at
the top of her lungs in public and private she should hold
onto you with so much strength that not even god could pull
you apart.

ME: least that is what i would do....

Him: I wish that were true

ME: *sigh

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