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2002-05-01 21:41:31 (UTC)


Nothing's happened. Everything seems like it's gone back to
normal which is really confusing. I mean, some things are
still a bit different (haven't seen him much lately and he
didn't call me today yet) which he normally does... but
when I do talk to him he acts like everything's fine...
talks about us being together in the fall when school
starts again etc. etc. so I don't really know. I mean, he
blew me off yesterday to do stuff with his friends. And we
had a chat about that last night but we didn't fight about
it or anything (we haven't fought yet... we don't yell at
each other or anything just talk it out) and then he said
he was probably gonna be busy today but he'd call when he
got into the city and he didn't. But it's so wierd.. Maybe
cuz i'm sick, and i've been taking cold pills for the past
3 days... but i'm not worried about it at all. I'm just
sort of in 'whatever' mode which is a big change from a few
days ago when i was in tears for most of the day cuz i was
so convinced he was going to break up with me. I don't
know. And I guess in a WAY I kind of just like having the
space. We usually see each other a LOT (recently it's been
like, 5 or 6 times a week which is kind of crazy) so
whatever. I'm not going to die if i don't talk to him and I
hope that's what he's thinking too by not calling me, and
not that 'oh god i don't wanna talk to her' or something
else related to him breaking up with me. I guess I'll just
have to see what happens. Hopefully I get over this cold
soon so I can start thinking normal again.