Guava

kiss me, kill me, hold me, thrill me
2002-05-01 05:46:02 (UTC)

today was strange

I don't know quite what happened today. dave and I were
chatting like usual and things just went a little farther
than usual. At one point he said he had to remind himself
that I am John's girl. That kinda hit me strange. That
means that maybe he is having some strange feelings kinda
like I am. If he is then I don't know what. I said I
would back off on the more sexual comments, but he said it
was ok to keep going.

I kept going and things did get strange. He was a bit
modest at one point. He said some quote about stealing
your base. I think it was bass like in music. I asked
him if that meant my feet or my ass. He said he wasn't
going to comment. I pointed out that it wasn't any worse
than some of the other things we'd said earlier so he said
he'd like to have my ass.

As the evening wore on I somehow said I would roll around
on my floor naked while pouring raspberry syrup on
myself. I did not do that, but I did get naked. Then I
saw an ant crawling on my keyboard and thought for a
second it was a spider. I almost had to run out of here
naked.

Dave was a little bummed he didn't get a show. It's not
like he would have over the comp anyway.

This afternoon I was going to download some tool mp3s and
he offered up his tool. we joked about not making it a
zip file for me to download. That would hurt.

He and I talked about a lot of more intimate and or sexual
things today. His last comment was something about going
to go to bed naked and alone. I told him I'd remember
that when I went to bed naked and alone.

He made me promise today that i would never use sex as a
means of getting what I want. Promising that was easy
since I know it would be dumb to do that. It wouldn't
really be getting my way.

Dave invited John and I to a mardi gras party this
weekend. I will mention it to John and see if he wants to
go. I also told Jay I might meet up with him at
Appleblossom. We'll see what I decide to do. I don't
think I would want to do both in one day. That would make
for a long drive from Wenatchee to Seattle. I know John
probably wouldn't want to do both.

John surprised me when he and Dave came over. He said he
had had a great time just all of us hanging out. I would
have thought he would want to do more just the two of us.
I really love getting together with friends. That is one
of the greatest feelings in the world.

I think I told you Dave got his new place. I am giving
him my photography tongs for his darkroom. I was also
thinking I ought to get an apartment warming gift for him
like a board game or something. We'll see. He has not
said the date he is moving in. I also offered the
services of my Dad's truck to him.

I want to do the friend thing and help him out. We talked
about the whole thing about being able to chat with
eachother online, but not being able to talk as freely
with people of the opposite sex in person.

I really wonder why we get along so well. I mean there
are only a very few other people as freely as I can with
him. I don't understand it, but I'll just let it go for
now.

He said if I send him a resume he would send it on to
someone he works with like in a higher up position and
maybe I could get a job for the summer. I doubt I could
get it with my practically no experience, but it could be
worth a try. That means I need to get a resume together.

I don't know why the heck he is so nice to me. I mean I
understand how we are friends, but we talk all the time
which doesn't seem normal to me. I would think that I
might, after today especially, sexually frustrate him. My
guess is after a couple of our topics I could be called a
blue baller.

I have decided to start a new painting. I did not finish
the one I started, but I plan to. Right now I am working
on the cover for a book about my Mother. It is for my
Computer Art class. It should be really great if I can
get some frosted clear paper to print on. The bookstore
did not have any. I bought some canvas for the cover
instead.

I am hoping the store down the way or Fred Meyer will have
what I am looking for. If not then my whole idea won't
work. I planned to have images on the see through paper
over top of the images of my mother.

So far I have started painting a sort of salmon pink onto
the canvas. I think I should have primed it first. I
wanted the look and texture of the canvas to come through,
but it is taking an awful lot of paint to do it.

I guess I am going to sign off for the night and go to
bed. I am tired for some reason.