2002-05-01 04:04:55 (UTC)

so i havent cried yet. i know..

so i havent cried yet.
i know it will come eventually.
maybe when i see her.
maybe when it hits me.
right now, all i am is mad..
mad that she could do this to me..
to me.
the one she proclaimed over and over again to love so
i guess that just wasnt enough for her.
i guess she needed more love.

everytime i dont trust myself.
i get fucked.
i should have.
and i didnt.

i wasnt able to.

and i didnt mean to read it.

i feel like im going to vomit.

i gave her everything.
now what is left.
i fucked over my friends.
fucked up shit with my mom.
i did so much
for her
just her

and now ill be written off as just another girl
she fucked over.
im a fucking checkmark in her book

what the fuck was i doing thinking that things were

you know

i really intended on making her my wife.

things have been so good recently.

shes my best fucking friend.


now what do i have.


can we say ohhhhhh sandy all over again.

when are you going to learn ashley.

caring about people just gets you hurt.
i swore i wouldnt.
i didnt mean to.

and i did.

i fucking did.

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