Insensitive Kitten

Insensitive Kitten
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2001-06-01 18:01:14 (UTC)

...yippy skippy and cherry pie...

Got no sleep at all last night....so this morning my ear
infection started to get really bad so my mom told me to go
to work with her. They had to flush it out with warm water
and that hurt like a bitch....felt like my whole ear was an
aquarium....then the doctor said "This might have caused
damage to your eardrum". Woo hoo...yippy....i may never
hear out of my left ear properly again.

So anyway...I wrote another poem today...cos I had four
hours to kill....I wasn't gonna post it here cos people
might steal it but what the hell. Not like I'll ever
publish it anyway.

Untitled:

It's fragile humanity that I hold in my arms
When I find myself throwing my angel his scorn
If you traced the patterns of my skin
You would see that I am rotten outside and in
I once wrote a note so perfect and true
A suicide tale of a gurl I once knew
Vacant shame of a dirty name
Never used except in vain
The curs-ed tales of pre-pubecent woa's
Seamless threads of a scar well grown
Send us your hungry, wicked, and poor
Believe that I'm more then shameless folklore
I have a name, mind, body and soul
Although my site's rank and tore
Inside I'm covered in maggots and flies
What's left on the outside is papier mache lies
See what you will and all that you'll let
Another statistical secret well kept
Numbers, games, poison, shame
Forget that your love only ends in pain
Cos your cotton candy dreams are more then enough
To drown out my world, my blood...lock it shut
Feed your hungy, tireless, and poor
Wreak the adoration of which you abhore
Pretend that you don't love the pity and praise
My name forgotten, your game well played
You're a pig, filthy and cruel
And, at the same time. I crave to be you
Wallow in your stench, swallow your piss
Be the shit you pass and eat and sniff
You see, it's all so very tempting to me
Manipulate your words to set mine free
Take your persona and butcher its sanity
Smile, wink, fuck, fuck
I once lost my shoe for a second or two
But don't worry, I found it and you've no clue
Chase your mice, chase your dreams
The forecast of my ass is partly cloudy
Twist that sentece and make it sane
Twist my anger and make me plain
Take this pen from my lard covered hand
But first you have to come near me..and that's not in your
plan
I can see your eyes. They're afraid of me
They're afraid cos they look but fail to see
Why I'm so empty and dead inside
Why this Hell is not a surprise
Trace my skin, draw on my scars
See how my pain down't leave marks
Maybe you're desensitized and I'm lame
Or maybe there's nothing left for me to gain
The emotion you gave me is undeserved
Why should I feel the havock I've earned?
I chose not to stoop to your level
A human being that cries and dribbles
Be a man and tear the pain out
Be a coward and let it all show
I'm not like you...not on display
At least people don't gawk at my emotion all day
You're a pig, an emotional, smelly, foul pig
You make me sick
I make me sick

Tada....yea that's it....I would submit it somewhere but
it's too personal....that's how all my poems end up...
But if it meant something to you then take take take. I
don't mind
I didn't write it for me so much for others need to feel
apart of something

Anyway...on to notes

If I do get rid of AOL I'll still have my other email
account
[email protected]
so copy and paste that addy somewhere

And since I got such good response I will still keep
writing in here....since someone implied that it's
enlightening people...which is my ultimate goal in life.

But mind you...I may not get rid of AOL...I'm just thinking
about it

On other news...

I looked at myself in one of those full sized mirror things
and was astonished...I'm huge...

So...

All I ate today was two pickles....plus I have my diet
pills and all that other diet shit to eat...when I do chose
to eat....

I just feel like a tub of lard....

And I am...a pretty little tub of lard.

Anywayz....I'm off to try and sleep.....fare thee well


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