jsurookie

11th..g®adë
2002-04-30 23:29:49 (UTC)

More Things To Read...

More jokes:

HOW GOLF IS LIKE URINATING IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM

10. Keep your back straight, knees bent, feet shoulder
width apart.
9. Form a loose grip.
8. Keep your head down.
7. Avoid a quick backswing.
6. Stay out of the water.
5. Try not to hit anybody.
4. If you are taking too long, you should let others go
ahead of you.
3. You shouldn't stand directly in front of others.
2. Be quiet while others are about to go.
1. Keep strokes to a minimum

SIGNS YOU ARE TOO FAT FOR YOUR PANTS

You've lost the feeling below your ankles.
When you walk you have to waddle like a duck, so you
fabricate a story about a knee-injury to dismiss curious
onlookers.
When you wake up in the morning you can still see the
impression of where your keys were in your pants pocket
the night before.
The last time you tried to retrieve your wallet from your
back pocket you lost a finger.
Your farts take up to three-and-a-half minutes from start
to finish, and produce the sound frequency of a dog
whistle.
People ask you questions like, "Are you a professional
scuba diver, or do you just wear the gear?"
The last time you sat down, the top button of your pants
snapped off with the speed of a hunting rifle, injuring a
co-worker.
It takes you forty-five minutes to put them on, even with
the aid of a small crane and a power winch.
When you ask for an honest opinion, your spouse tells you
your pants look great.
Your name is Al Roker.

Okay, if you're done reading EVERYTHING...go to bored.com
or jokes.com or something until I get back! Geez!

~Justin




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