ICanOnlyBeHele3

Tuesday April 30, 2002

*Time: 4:14 p.m.
*Wearing: navy blue T-shirt,navy blue dickies,black bra,
blue undies, white socks, and my shoes
*Jewelry/Accessories: My cross neckless, my cross ring, my
nugget ring, my nugget bracelet, my link bracelet, my
purple Chinese horoscope bracelet, my school id, my silver
ball neckless, my glasses, and my silver earring with a
blue gem in it.
*Hair: down with a black band holding it back
*Listenin to: the radio
*Eating/Drinkin: milky Way candy bar/about to get sum Pepsi
*Last Ate: milky way
*Last Drank: chocolate milk
*Song of the day: You Don't Have To Call-Usher
*Weather: Sunny, sorta cold it's 57 Degrees
*Talking to: Ryan and Alexander
*Mood: tired
*Thinking: Eh.. I gotta do my homework and clean
*Later: Clean, do homework, talk on the phone, and whatever
else
*Money Count: 0
Picture on Desktop: A black bg of Jay Hernandez. He's
sooooooooooooooooooooooo hotttt!!!

~*~*YESTERDAY SINCE I WROTE~*~*

I called John, but we only talked for 5 minutes. He
clicked on me I think, or my uncle's cell phone cut off.
Either way when I called back he didn't answer the phone,
so whatever.
While I was on the phone with him, my house phone rang; it
was the phone company saying that if my mom didn't pay the
bill the phone would be cut off. I took a quick shower and
got ready. Erica paged me, so I called her back and told
her she was coming with us. She was like aight and after I
got ready my mom and I went to pick her up.
First we went to the Speedway gas station in Hammond to
pay the phone bill. Then we headed to the cable company to
pay that bill. I had my fake lip earring in, and the lady
who waited on me and Erica asked me about it and stuff. I
told her it was fake, but I did plan on getting it done
when I turned 18. She told me about this good place to get
it done in Hammond; I talked to her for a few minutes; with
my last words, when do u work again? She replied I'm here
everyday. I told her I would see her next time I came in
there and me an Erica left. I had to get sum white paper
for school so my mom took me to the dollar store in Hammond
to get it. As we were passing Menards, this hott guy who
worked there was walking thru the door, so I shouted "Hi"
in this loud pitch voice. lol He looked back and just kept
looking at us. I was acting sooo hyper, I was saying hi to
everyone I saw, especially to all the hottt guys. hehe
When we got back to my house, me and Erica chilled outside
for a lil bit. We did our usual "guy looking." lol Eh ...
no hot guys really came by though. Anyway, Erica left at 7,
leaving me home solo.
I stayed online for a while and remained bored for a long
time. Adrian paged me at 8:30 but when I called him back he
didn't answer and he didn't call me :( Eh... then Erica
called me. I talked to her for a few minutes, but George
called me. He was purring at me telling me to hurry up and
call him back. So I let Erica go really quick cuz I wanted
to see what George wanted to tell me. Eh ... him and I just
talked about music,gurls, and shit like that. He left me go
at 10.
By that time my uncle had brought me the correct paper for
my school poster. I made my poster, which took me almost 2
hours. It came out pretty nice tho. It was for health
class, and was about how to treat burns on the skin.

~*~*BEFORE I WENT TO BED~*~*

All last night I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about
Justin, then start thinking about sumthing else, just to
think about Justin again. Sorta like Jimmy Hendrix (SP?)
thoughts. lol I was telling Erica that I'm scared that I
may be/could've got pregnant from what me and Justin did.
Something in the back of my mind keeps telling me ... what
if you are? What if it does happen? What will you do? What
will I say to my mom? Who will I tell her it the father?
What should I do, have it, give it away, get an abortion? I
mean there is all kinds of questions that I've been
thinking about. Stuff that could've happened, I don't think
they did, but the point is, they could've and they still
may happen. When me and him were about to have sex, all
them things were running thru my mind, but I just shrugged
them off. The main thought I had was...when I remembered my
health teacher telling the class "Even if a female hasn't
had her period, she can still get pregnant, if by chance a
mature egg is waiting." Afterwards, I felt so bad tho,well
actually more worried then anything.
Erica said, she doesn't think I am pregnant, cuz I
would've been getting mourning sickness. Which, I haven't.
When I woke up for school, my stomach was hurting and stuff
tho :( Which scared me soo bad!! I mean it hasn't been that
long since the day with Justin. Like maybe 3 weeks? Or
sumthing like that. Well, I dunno what will happen. I'll be
sure to write everything in here tho.

~*~*TODAY~*~*

Nothing has happened today. So I'll be back l8er to write
more in this same page :)