Mezzo Swede

A Toast to World Domination
2002-04-30 19:05:52 (UTC)

Les Miserables

Could my mother possibly find any more ways to hurt my
feelings? I am happier with my life than I have been in a
long time, and all she has to say to me is that it won't
last, and that I am selfish, and that everything is going
to end up exactly the same way it did last time. I don't
know why she is saying this, and why she has to bring up
the past at every given opportunity. I hate the fact that I
was with Pat for so long. I hate how it turned out, and I
hate what he did. I don't know why she always brings it up!
It makes me feel terrible, and stupid. What's worse is when
she tells me that any relationship I'll ever have is going
to turn out the same way. I didn't do anything wrong,
except love someone who didn't know how to love me back.
I've asked her so many times to not talk about it anymore,
and she won't drop it, and keeps pushing the issue, which
usually results in me screaming and running away. At which
point she just tells me that I obviously have mental
issues. I don't have mental issues. I just don't understand
why my mother wants to upset me like that all the time. Why
can't she be happy when it is obvious that I am happy. I
don't want to say I hate her, because she's my mother, and
without her I wouldn't be anything at all. But I hate being
around her, I hate the way she tells me what to do. And
most of all, I hate the things she says because they serve
absolutely no other purpose than to make me feel bad. There
is no way that I am going to Los Angeles with her, two
weekends from now. She can fly wherever the hell she wants.
Count me out. Earlier today, I agreed to go with her, and
change the plans I had already made. But she couldn't just
accept her victory and leave me alone. She had to bring
other stuff up, which is all completely irrelevant and
unneccessary. Just because she is miserable doesn't mean
that I have to be. I am going to go organize my things. No
point in saying that I am leaving, because I have nowhere
to go. And obviously my mom doesn't want me to go anywhere,
or she would have helped me somehow. She'd rather I stayed
here, as miserable as she.




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