spitfire

wish I had the entry

Ok i cant belive Im not gonna write about the last few
days.Great days with yet nothing actully happening but my
mind overwelmed with happy ness and feeling and things Ive
seen and thought while in conversation with others and ear
hussling other peoples convoys.but I have to right about
this.
I just read another entry and was amazed as seeming always.
there was a quote in it and she said Im not shure exactly
what it said and shes totally got it there you dont have to
remember the quote just what was intended:
I have a quote also on the same line.....
"The difference between what we do and what we are capable
of doing
could change the world"
its by Gandi.and Im shure thats not exactly how it read but
do you get the point?I saw it at the bucks one day on the
little quote board.
I was trying to finbd the suicidal prom queen entry in my
jornal for you to read but I just opened it and spent a
half hour flying through it and remembering hella things,
hella days and hella feeling and missing friends gone and
feelings missed.
Anyways I know the feeling the smileing at every one and
thinking you hate them, yet you smile. And waving to people
and saying whats up just to think what a lame.
Its what popular kids get when there in a mood mabe
everyone but I dont know?
Its when you open the paper and the front page reads
"prom queen commits suicide"
and everyone aroud is in such shock everyone wondering
why... Oh she had it all such a happy kid with a great
future....and they inter view her friends and every one
even her best friend is at a loss for reason....
there was no cry for help...If that loner kid would have
done it no one would have thought twice....

I know this feeling and I once wrote to you and said were
all fucked up just some hide it better, hide it behind a
smile.And who really knows why you keep smiling and playing
the roll mabe cuase thats who you are or you know itll pass
and youll want there adorement when it passes and its your
life the life you know Im not shuremabe cause when it comes
all of a sudden none of them matter to you and it just
passes the time or something Ive never really put my finger
but the entry conveys the feeling not the why?
but its real and alot of seemingly perfect people go though
it and no one knows till they snap or just become junkies
or that bullet flys.
wow that enuff of this entry its getting no where.