The Shadow of Myself
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2002-04-30 05:06:57 (UTC)

we'll never be the same...

Life is pretty cool right now.. you know why? B/c God is
pretty cool.. :) My mom just got back from her emmaus walk
yesterday. I was sooo excited for her.. and now I'm even
more excited. She kept talking about how much sense
everything made to her and how she is glad she got to hear
it. She said she is going to study more stuff. She bought
a few books to read and stuff. I'm just really happy for
her. Plus, now we can work on walks and flights together.
That's super cool. Also.. this weekend I had mentioned the
fact that nobody had called me for chrysalis so I figured I
probably wouldn't be on the team and I was kinda
disappointed. So today.. mom gets a call from a woman who
was on the team with me last summer b/c she wants my
help.. :) I'm sooo excited. I couldn't get ahold of her
yet b/c I think she was calling lots of people. But she
said I was at the top of her list.. and that's sooo much
fun. I just want to go around serving people and painting
them pictures.. and drawing stuff.. and playing my guitar.
That just brightens my whole summer.. and it hasn't even
started yet. God is such good times.

So.. it's finals week. I'm going to be finished at 5:30
today. I have to sit here and watch people leave.. and
just sit here. I'll probably cry. As we've all realized
by now everything has effected us more that we thought it
would. Remember when we got really offended when people
told us that we would meet our best friends in college? I
would get so mad at people. I would be like.. nope.. I
already have all my best friends.. nothing is going to
change. In all actuality, practically everything has
changed. Expecially the things I thought would stay the
same. I dealt with things I didn't expect to deal with. I
think I had 20 years of life lessons crammed into one (not
even full) year. So now my friends and I are all slowly
(very slowly) preparing ourselves to return to the places
where we came from. Only we're not the people we were, we
know more, we've seen more, and we understand less. Our
environments have stayed the same while we have changed ten-
fold. No more Porter Hall jokes.. well at least not while
we're standing in it. :) We'll be without random heads
popping in our doors just to say hi. I won't be able to
walk in someone's room sit down and start playing my guitar
on their bed. Nobody will be able to kidnap Becca's
Chocolate Bear who talks to people's crotches. We won't see
Laurel's Plus One poster or see her do their dance routine
for the new tour. We won't get to hear Melinda and
Elisbeth's discussions on women's roles. We won't hear
Melinda blasting Weezer, or see her drooling over Brandon
Boyd. We won't hear Lindsay laugh while she is sitting in
her room and we are all outside. :) We won't be able to go
in Kt and Tejal's room to take their chocolate or Welch's
grape soda. We won't see Kristi and Becca dressed up the
same.. as twins. We won't see Jaclyn give us the "Quiet Hour Eyes."
We won't go on any Jr. RA rounds. Nobody can walk down the
hall to borrow a spoon, jeans, shoes or a shirt. I won't
have to resolve Becca and Laurel's floor because I tracked
mud on it. No more sharing cookie dough. No mid-night
pizza. No competative sports at the rec. Well.. it's just
not going to be the same this summer. I have a feeling
though, when we come back together after our long break,
things will continue just as they were. We'll grow closer
than we were. We'll experience just as many new things as
we did this year. And we'll make new inside jokes that
could probably be funnier than the ones we already have. I
just know that I love all my Porter girls. I have had the
best time this year. It's completely amazing. None of us will ever
be the same...


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