Thoughts to Share
2002-04-30 04:07:56 (UTC)

dreams, music, and change

This weekend I had a dream about my grandmother. I think
we were in my grandparents' house. My mom and I were
sitting at the kitchen table and my grandmother walked up,
sat down, and we just started talking like normal. It was
like I knew that things weren't right, and I was confused.
But, I just missed her so much, that I just wanted to talk
to her as much as I could...even if I didn't understand how
things were happening. It was strange. But, I think it
probably has to do with the fact that on Sunday we were
talking some about my grandparents. I ate Sunday lunch
with my mom and dad and brother, my uncle, an aunt of mine
and my little cousin. Someone from our church was saying
that my granddad always said he came to recitals late b/c
he didn't want to hear the "Johnny-one-fingers" play.
Sounds like my granddad. Made me a little sad.

At my church on Sunday we had a guest minister. Actually,
we're in the process of getting a new preacher. The "real
preacher" (that's what we keep calling him) is coming in
June. So, the sermon was about change. B/c inevitably
(sp?) the new preacher will want to make some changes
within our church. I won't be there in June when he comes,
but I must get to know him. Anyways...but I think I was
supposed to hear that sermon for a different reason. Like-
my freaking out b/c I wasn't living where I thought I was
this summer. The only constant thing in the world is
change. Now that statement took me a while to comprehend.
In the next few months, even in the next year....I guess a
lot of stuff will change for me. So Pastor Tom told this
story about how a man prayed by his bed every day, and his
cat would annoy him during that time. So, he always tied
his cat to the bed post while he prayed. That man's
son...carrying on the tradition...tied his cat to the
bedpost while he prayed. The second man's son...the
grandson of the first man...he didn't so much understand
the religion, prayer thing. But, to carry on the
tradition...he always tied his cat to the bedpost once a
day. He had the form, but there was no substance there.
He talked about how when change comes about...there are
many ways to handle it. 2 of those being: You can just
tie the cat to the bedpost or, you can hop onto the change,
and take advantage of it. Use it for all it's worth. I'm
pretty sure that my horizons would be broadened if I would
not be so much afraid to try new things. I've got to learn
to let go sometimes. Leave my familiar things behind, and
jump into the unknown. I've just got to get that little
bit of courage and run with it. Ok-yeah, so that's that.

Then...this weekend I became fond of the new Jewel CD. So
I like this one song...well, I like several, but I was
thinking about this one. It's talking about a guy, I'm
certain of that...but I like to think of it...in a friends
way. Like..I wish that my friends and I could always stay
a certain way. I wish things would never change. However,
I should probably refer to the earlier paragraph. Anyways,
here are the lyrics:
This Way, Jewel

Love be still
Love be sweet
Don't you dare
Change a thing
I want to photograph you with my mind
To feel how I feel now all the time

Say that you'll stay
Forever this way
Forever and forever
That we'll never have to change
Don't move
Don't breathe
Don't change
Don't leave
And promise me
Say you'll stay
We'll stay
This way

I get afraid
Don't think ahead
Let's just stay
This way in bed
Feels so good inside your arms
Home is everywhere that you are

Don't move
Don't breathe
Don't change
Don't leave
Promise me
We'll always be
This kind, this sweet
This good to me
Promise me
You'll always be