Cindy

Cindy's Place
2002-04-29 16:06:29 (UTC)

The Hard Life

It's hard being in love with a married man.

To start a brief synopsis: We met eight months ago when I
answered his ad in yahoo personals. I was also married at
the time. We hit it off right away. We spent a few hours
each week together, going to see shows, drinks at the pub.
We helped each other get through the tough times after 9-11.

Things started out slow, a few kisses here and there, then one day we
went for a walk in the park on a warm fall day. No one else was
around and we were in a real secluded place and it just happened.
He felt guilty about it the next day, so we backed off.
Then a month later my ex found an apartment and was moving out. The
day before Thanksgiving my MM came over while ex was at work and we
ended up in bed. It was wonderful.
That Sat we meet for drinks and who should walk in the door but my
soon to be ex. MM split for awhile while I talked to the ex, but he
wanted to talk to the MM.
So they talk and that gets MM feeling real bad about lying to him
about our relationship and gets him thinking about things at home. So
we decided to back off again.
Now I'm on my own, dating other guys occasionally, but still seeing
the MM about twice a week for drinks, dancing, seeing bands.

I can't help it, I'm totally in love with him. I went out with a guy
for about a month early in the year, but it didn't work. Part of the
reason is everytime I was with him I kept thinking about my MM. Since
then I haven't even really been looking for anyone. I'm happy with my
life the way it is. Plenty of time to myself, hanging out with other
friends, and seeing the MM twice a week.

Then a few weeks ago he's at my place hanging out and next thing I
know he's pushing me toward the bedroom. It's like part of him is
saying yes, but part saying no, so getting it on wasn't easy, but
finally it worked out. That didn't matter. The thing I loved the most
was just lying there next to each other talking after.




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