daydream disbeliever

Mad Ramblings From a Blithering Idiot
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2002-04-29 15:24:55 (UTC)


I wonder what a world without frustration would be
like? Myself, I am pissed off at my own body. In the past
week, Josh and I have tried to have sex several times, but
well, to put it in the simplest terms-he's too big and I'm
too small.

I don't know if I love him, and he hasn't mentioned
anything else about caring for me, which scares me and only
helps to reaffirm what I thought about those statements.
But I asked him when I came back Saturday night (or rather,
Sunday morning) if he'd meant what he had said (ok, so I
was kind of drunk) and he said, "Yes. Yes, I did." Which
made drunken me quite happy.

Nikki, Nikki, and I had gone to a club in Huntington
Saturday night. Nikki B was pissed at Dune and Nikki P was
pissed at her husband. I was sleepy and happy that my
boyfriend had gone home at a decent hour and was waiting
for me with open arms. But before we went there, NP was
arguing with her husband and NB was ignoring Dune. We
played cards (it was uncomfortable, but I was happy because
I finally won a round of Screw Your Neighbor and I was
tipsy from Smirnoff and moonshine) and finally both N's got
sick of their respective men and we went back to the
house. I was going to sleep on the couch or the recliner
but the N's got there first. They wouldn't let me drive
home because of the storm so my only recourse was Josh's
room, where he was sleeping like a baby. I woke him up-he
seemed VERY happy to see me. Because of my drunken state,
I just lay there and babbled about silly things for an
hour. Funny, the next day I went back up there (I spent
all day yesterday with Josh) and Nikki P asked me if we
were arguing at six that morning! Heh, we've never had a
tiff yet.

Got to go now, more to come as this past week has been
a very eventful one. Until next time I remain the likesick


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