I'm a girl, not a band!!!
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2002-04-29 08:46:20 (UTC)


Well, I have been vague about Pete in the past. So, here
it is all up for you to gawk at (just kidding Mackenzie!!
hope this helps!!)

First of all, Pete is a freshman in college. He is 18. I
am 22. I know, I know, I've heard it all, and told it all
to myself. Cradle robber, kiddie porn, etc. But it's not
like that. He is amazing. He's smart, kind, sweet, doesn't
put up with me saying one thing and meaning another. That
carries BIG brownie points with me. I grew up learning to
be the martyr, my mom does it too, and saying that
everything is fine when it's really not. Pete knows
everything, my whole sexual history, my medical oddities
(i have 6 toes on my left foot!! no, just kidding, i am on
various medications for various reasons) and he still
loves me. He tells me he loves me, and it makes my heart
go pitter-pat. I know, pathetic, but it's true. He can
keep up with me, and also knows things that I don't and
that is impressive to me. I am well educated, but know
that it's impossible to know everything, and he stretches
my mind, as I do for him. He loves books, and plays, and
the arts, but is also just fine watching a movie or going
to a club or whatnot. (Who says whatnot anymore? I swear,
I'm growing older by the second). Now, the pitfall to this
whole story is the distance. He is in NYC. I am Orlando,
FL. Can you see my connundrum? Yup. Sucks, huh? And here's
what's weird. I've always wanted a big wedding, and then
at least 4 kids. But he doesn't want either of those
things, and I'd be willing to not have them if I could
just be with him forever.

This all sounds really bad, I know. Never give up your
dreams for someone, why am I throwing away my happiness to
be with one person, etc. But it's not like that. I am
completely happy when I am with him. Which isn't that
often at all. *sigh* And maybe it's not meant to be. And
I'll deal with that too. I mean, he's welcome to go out
and do whatever he wants right now, as am I. We're not
together in any way, shape, or form. If it works out, it
works out. But I am deeply, madly, in love with this boy.
I can't help it. So, basically, I suppose that Pete is a
wish or a dream in my heart of having someday. I really
hope that I can go see him this summer, we shall see. But
I am a realist, and prepare for the worst so that I won't
be disappointed. Questions? Comments? Follow the feedback

PS~ Mackenzie, I'm not really as pathetic as I sound, I