Fishnet Goddess

Rainbows, Ice-a-ma-cream, and Lemonade
2002-04-28 20:59:05 (UTC)

Breakdown

Yesterday started out good. It was my first day as a
barista at Nata'le, and I did a really good job. I actually
kind of liked it. A lot of fun people come in. There's this
amazingly hot gay guy from the dry cleaners that comes in
at least once an hour. He's so funny. I made about $21 from
the tip jar. I had no idea tip jars made so much. I sort of
wish I was doing it more than just on weekends. But my back
is killing me, I think I may have pulled something. I can't
really stand up all the way, and I can't bend over all the
way either. I hope it gets better, luckily I have today to
relax before I have to go back to work tomorrow.
I had a total emotional breakdown last night behind
the bookstore with Daniel and Garrett. I guess I've just
been thinking about Joe a lot lately, and I said all the
things I never got to say last night. I just couldn't hold
it in anymore, and I sort of exploded all over them. I told
them about how I hate him so much that I want to kill him
over and over again and how I felt like spoiled milk and
how I never ever said anything and it pissed me off that I
didn't have the courage to talk to anyone, not even
counselors or my best friend. It sucks holding something so
damaging inside for so long. It felt good just to cry for
so long though. To get it all out. I was pretty hysterical.
I have to go get ready for Spencer's 1st birthday party, so
I'll write more again sometime soon.




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