Hannah Rose Cherry

Hannah's Screwed life(go figure)
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2002-04-28 01:54:30 (UTC)

cant party

I just got home from a bat mitzva party, it was my friend
suzies. I couldent be happy and i couldent have fun. i felt
like a wall flower because i felt like shit and sat on the
side, so i called my dad and he picked me up early. all the
ppl i dont like were there. and i was so depressed and i
feel like no one cares about me. and as my dad was driving
me home i wanted him to swerze off the road and flip the
car. i wanted to die so bad.i still do, but i dont have the
currage to cut myself anymore. i jus want something to
happen, like and accident or something. i miss garrett
soooooo much and i'm seeing him tomorrow, but it's not
enough, we never see each other and i really need him. i
love him so much i cant be away from him this long, it's to
hard, i almost made out wih avi. but then i thought to
myself i'm jus doing it to make me feel better. but when we
were done i would feel the guilt and the depression would
be back. my mother got me a new phsyciatrist, she's young
and verry nice. i like her a lot, but i strill dont want to
go. i jus cant fake these smiles anymore and i dont kno wat
to do. ppl think i'm so happy but it's all a lie, and i
cant lie anymore it's getting to hard. i realy dont kno wat
to do, i need some advice here from someone who i kno can
make me feel better, but no one does exepr garrett.

current music:No Doubt-"Hella Good"

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