golden_sheila

Truth, Love and Lies
2001-05-31 05:17:06 (UTC)

Gorgeous Man Drives me NUTS!

I am sitting here listening to sappy love songs and have
this stupid grin on my face. Yeah, you guessed it, i am
thinking of Justice again. I feel like some little first
grade girl with a crush. Basically that is all it is. I
like him, find him amazingly attractive, melt at the very
sight of him, and like a child, i am doing absolutely
nothing to further the situation. I should at least be
talking to him or something. I should start a conversation
like a mature adult and I just feel like butter every time
I even get close. I feel like the whole world just focuses
right on him and I just want all the other guys in the
house to leave....go away, so i can sit there and stay in
this wonderful gaze with Justice. Not talk even, just look
and have him smile back at me. I am so silly, i know, i
cannot even believe what i am writing right now. It is so
childish. Here I have almost been married and now I am
going back to the dating game and it all seems so stupid to
me. Why can't we just be mature, tell each other we like
each other and get on with the process. Right now it is
like we are in this dead end situation that is driving me
nuts. Well, first, I have to quit my game before he will
quit his, the flirting with other guys to make him jealous
has gone too far, now he just ignores me, cuz he thinks i
like everyone but him, and all i really want is HIM. I
just want him to talk to me. Start a conversation that
lasts more than 15 seconds. Stop just giving me that SEXY
smile and actually say something intelligent. maybe he
can't. maybe that is the problem. I don't know. maybe i
won't even really like him once i get to know him. all i
know is he is HOT, did i say HOT?? I mean drop dead
gorgeous. He was hanging out today in just NIKE sweatpants
and that beautiful body. MMMMMM, oh my lord, was it fine.
I am not usually like this, but i have to get it out, he is
driving me crazy. I am so mad at the situation. It is so
frustrating to me. I need it to either advance or like
never go to that frat house again. :-) i hope it advances,
i love those guys. well, i am going to stop swooning
helplessly over this gorgeous piece of meat and go to
bed....:-) love you all. night.

love,
sarah




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