Marco Jacksonovic

Crazy What You Could've Had
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2002-04-27 19:42:02 (UTC)

Guilt And...Well, Just Regret Really.

One of my mates invited me out tonight, to a barbecue, and,
well I accepted, I wanted to go. No more does my fear of
solely-meat barbeques taunt my very being.

Throughout the week the weather has been great, and I've
really enjoyed it, despite my distinctly-average-with-
crappy-moments week. The last two days, however, the
weather has turned somewhat, and frequent showers have
fallen. Quite hard. Nothing serious and the breaks between
are ample to get eating/cooking outdoors into. So no
problem there.

So where is the problem then? I just don't know. As eager
as I've been all week - I wouldn't say I've been looking
forward to it, there've been other things on my mind too
much, too much to do to think about, but its something in
the future I was getting ready to let my (now shorn) hair
down for.

And then today, I just went off the idea completely. As
much as I know my mate is easily the happiest and
friendliest person this world has produced (So why does he
spend time with me, then, I hear you cry. That's his
choice, but I'm all the better that he does, and grateful
for it) and so will be happy, and on previous form, will
know everybody there anyway, I feel guilty for not being
there.

So, yeah, I suppose, I wish I hadn't had that change of
heart this morning, and I was there - its something I'll
look back on in a month or so and go "Grrr! I should have
been there". Still, we all make mistakes.

Surely its better to own up to them honestly than try and
disguise them?

WILT? At the moment, nothing, Winamp crashed about 4
minutes ago, and I've not got a CD on yet, I quite fancy
the first Alfie album.


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