Tar

a dusty book in a forgotten hole
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2002-04-27 04:31:10 (UTC)

death is to be excepted?

another day has passed and yet i care no more for life then
for death. mentaly i suppose you could call me stable for
now. i am able to deal with life.. and able to deal wiht
those who join me in it.. but things about my life i do no
life. not agree with in anyway yet in my mind i justify
them for nothing better then a reason . the reaosn is
pointless yet i am conforting myself with it. looking
around me and thinking about differnt things i realize that
if one person does not suffer another will. if one person
does not fear another will. if one person is not stornge
enough to live with thoughts of pain on many levels then
those who are weaker may have to. which is why i suppose
that right now i am scared. becuase this is something i
have to deal with. it is not for another but for me. in my
life right now.. i guess being scared is what is needed
though i know not what to do... i dont even know if
anything is wronge. i just know that physcially soemthing
is not right.. which is never a good feeling.. it is one of
pain one of sorrow. i knw something is wronge but i cannot
fix it there for i worry . which in and of its self does me
no good... but i will try .. i will try to stop worrying..
and i will try to look on the brihgt side.. but i know i
cannot.. but one thing i can do is smile.. i can smile
through anything .. and i hope this is not a situation in
which i will ahve to proove myself...


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