the random confessions of a teenager
Friday, April 26, 2002
***written during third period***
If I was alone right now, in my room, I'd be crying. Today
is just a fucked up day. My chem teacher just reamed me
out. My shoe fell apart -- the heel came off (yes, again).
I'm all "Had a bad day again...spilled the coffee, broke a
shoelace..." I just feel like crying. I'm totally sitting
here, shaking, so I don't cry.
I'm sitting here in chem...and I have officially decided
that the worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right
next to them, knowing you can't have them. He just asked if
I was okay. I just nodded my head and turned away, cuz its
not like he really cares. I was talking to ethan the other
day, and I asked him if anyone would care if I vanished of
the face of the earth. He TMed me during school just to
tell me that he's miss me haha. It's so freaky, I'll be
thinking all Remy Zero-ish(i.e. "somebody save me," and
I'll glance at my phone and have a message from either him,
tammi or allie. The girls are at convention this
weekend...I could've been there. I should've been there.
newsflash: i just looked at the blackboard and we're doing
moles. How are we doing moles?? didn't we do moles, like,
I really want the B&W poster on allposters.com of Tom
Cruise in Top Gun (such an awesome movie). Or the other
poster, where Tom Cruise is holding his Maverick helmet
under his arm.
damnit. I am in so much pain right now b/c of my back. It's
like, if I got up and walked out of class, would anyone
notice? "Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I
wake tomorrow from this nightmare?"
haha, self-pity entry #1596835