Meshed Up
2002-04-27 00:57:07 (UTC)

written last night

who am i except a girl who just wants to drown in lager and
forget all her worries?

yes...i am a bit pissed off tonight. i couldn't stop
laughing with my friend and the other people we were with
actually thought we were drunk. but of course we weren't. i
mean, i never want to get drunk.

anyway a girl was supposed to help me with something but i
guess she changed her mind when she realized that because
i'm a girl, i don't have a dick. i mean, i think that's
what she wants from the people she helps...incentive. you
know..i help you, you poke me, that kind of thing.

so it's like i'm talking like a bloody bimbo but i
seriously don't care cuz i'm a fucking dumbass. i mean, i
got insulted three times last night! i was called a
dumbass, a muffin and a tart. although when that person
called me a tart, i don't think he meant a slut cuz i don't
flirt at all. he said it after he found out that i still
couldn't figure out how to answer some maths questions. and
that's when he called me a tart. i suppose for him a tart
means a muffin and a dumbass. as well as a fruitcake.

so i'm babbling and babbling. i look in the mirror and see
an extremely ugly person who has a bloody stupid mind as
well. so i can't handle maths. so i can't handle logic as
well. so i can't handle starcraft. so i'm a dumbass. what
do you care?

i want to lose myself in sandman's realm. reality is
getting boring.

the thing sucks. and well, life sucks. and if you
think about it, life sucks. i mean, the world turns and
turns and life still sucks.

i saw the full moon today. wrapped in clouds shining upon
me. my world was spinning. i have a headache. i've been
having it since three this afternoon. and well, it's not
getting any better. my day has been so awful. i wish
everything will be over.