The Diary of an idiot
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2002-04-26 11:57:31 (UTC)

dum da dum dum dumb!

well let's see what am i doing right now...well i'm chillin
in my bed waiting till I finally get enough energy to get
up take a shower and finally start my day. The only horrid
thing is that since finals are starting up I can't find the
real time to do jack squat. I'm trying to get ready for
this summer
and trying to study for finals is kicking my tail. but
heeeey. I ddon't care ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ah ha ha ah aha aha a-h-a ahem [cough]

well that's it. i've just done it. i've lost my stinking
mind. and it feels so beautiful to feel this way. I don't
have a care in the world right now except for what am i
supposed to write in this diary. well i did say i would
use it to try and understand relationships so here are the
thoughts that i have now.

Inner beauty does outshine external beauty. I have a
female friend who to me is sometimes so beautiful not
because of external reasons but because of her
personality. She is sooo nice, and sooo loving, and sooo
kind it's cute. Me and my friends agree that in truth her
inner beauty does extend past the skin making her more
attractive that way. What does this mean. It means that
the reason that some people just can't seem to find that
special someone or just plain ol friends for that matter is
because they spend so much time in front of the mirror
every morning trying to make sure that they look fine on
the outside but on the inside they are rotten to the core.

Now the next complex that i have is one that I saw on tv
and it didn't work out to well. a good friend of mine
likes this girl {terra} and so he's been you know checking
her out seeing what she's about but he's kinda shy and he's
still not sure if he wants to date her. and that's cool.
The problem is, in that I think this girl (might and i say
that lightly and slowly cause i could be extremely wrong)
have some type of feelings for me. now i'm not going to be
bogus and try and go after the girl cause in truth she's
cool and all but she's not my type so i can't play myself
and even look at her that way cause then just because of
the way my boy described her to me it's only going to bring
out the good for me to see and i'll forget that she's not
my type and the wrong time and mess up everything. but now
that i'm thinking about this it really isn't a complex.
cause one if she doesn't like me then that's cool cause i
said she ain't my type. and even if she does like me my boy
likes her and I refuse to just be wrong and dirty like

well what' else is bothering me....well aside from the
beautiful fact that i'm doing terrible in one of my classes
but that's about it. i found out that i'm still gonig to
pass as long as i do decent on the final so i'm straight.
for once when i go home i won't be afraid of what the
grades are going to look like cause so far i'm seeing a
nice GPA if I bust these finals...well i think i've written
enough stuff to hapily go to shower or get some more SLEEP.
hmm which one is better.. good night @ 7:00 am

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