ViCtiM oF ReaLiTY
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2002-04-24 22:28:05 (UTC)

B-day, 4:20, FriEnDS

Well i havent written in the longest time so i gotta
jot down some things. Lets see, last Thursday, April
18th, was my birthday! now im 15, thank gawd... and then
there was 4:20 and of course, we got high ALL DAY... it was

Its really weird cuz not last weekend but the weekend
before, me and Rafaela just suddenly got really close. We
went and got drunk at Becky's house with her older,
skinhead/grundghead brother Joe and his friend and Veronica
and Lindsey. Me and Rafa got to talkin and she told me that
she wanted to start using other drugs and that she wanted
me and her to try cocaine. i was just like 'oh, ya...
so i dunno. Chris went to Cali, so we just hung out by
ourselves the rest of the weekend and it was fun. We got
really close and she said i was her 'best friend' but i
dont think of her as that. i felt really special on my
birthday cuz everyone remembered and got me stuff. 4:20
was the best 4:20 i ever had. Me, STix, Chris, Rafa,
Amber, and Veronica all went to Rafa's house all day and
smoked it up. Then at like 9 we tried to go find this
stupid party but we couldnt cuz it was in the ghetto and it
was scary, so we went to skunk creek and got high for the
last time that day. But now Rafa is bitching again and
me and Paulina are kinda starting to talk again and things
jsut keep changing so fast that its scary. The school
year is almost over, and i know im not ready for summer
(sounds weird) but its all so fuckin weird.
Yesterday i got scared cuz Chris told me that he would
never like leave me? .. or summthin... and i just imagined
something. What if im with Chris forever? i kinda
want to be single again... i mean , dont get me wrong, i
love Chris! and i will always love him, but i just get
bored. and there are so many cute guys out there!
well, ill write more later.