Truth, Love and Lies
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2001-05-30 06:49:01 (UTC)

Revealed Secrets

I don't know why, but tonight I told Kurt all about all the
guys in the house advancing at me. I told him things I
vowed to never tell anyone, for the protection of my
brother and the house. I told him about the night swimming
at Tulio's house, the night in Nogales with Eric, Tim and I
getting a little friendly and Carlos hitting on me when I
went home at night. I did not tell him about Justice and
our little flirting game...that is the one secret I care
most about. Laura thinks I should go out with Kurt, but
just to make Justice jealous enough that he actually asks
me out and not just plays this game all the time. I want
him so bad!!! I don't even know where to begin. I don't
want to keep leading Kurt on, I just want Justice and I
don't want any of those guys to get their feelings hurt. I
just want a nice little fairy tale relationship with
Justice, but I love talking to Kurt. We should just stay
friends, I should tell him to just be my,
while things are still innocent. I have been telling him a
lot of stuff about me, stuff I could not really tell anyone
since I have been with Reco. I have not trusted anyone
else enough to open up to them. I think Kurt may like me
but I am not sure. Maybe one date would not hurt the whole
Justice situation. Kurt is cute too. He is super nice.
That can't be all bad. I just hate the idea of causing
friction between the guys in the fraternity. I love THEM
ALL so so much, I could not bear to hurt one of them. I
want them to just let me date ONE of them and be supportive
of us. I want Justice, I should just stick with that.
Tell everyone that things are just casual, keep talking to
Kurt, but talk to Justice too. I have to go to bed now.
Now I feel a lot better. Talking to Laura really helped. I
have not been able to tell anyone about my thing for
Justice and to hear her say that it was all good was such a
good feeling, not for approval, just to get it all out....i
needed that. night night ;-)


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