golden_sheila

Parental Frustrations

Ok, so Reco and I have only been broken up for an entire
month and a half now, and according to everyone but me, I
should be in a period of mourning my "great loss." Yeah
right. I don't think SO! He was not a great loss, but
rather it was a great fortune to get that over with. I
should be leaping with joy, not sulking. It is like my
parents want me to be unhappy about the entire situation!
I don't think so. I just don't understand it all. They
tell me not to date yet. It is too soon. who are they to
decide whether or not I am ready to date after MY
relationship, MY breakup, the marriage proposal, etc. When
I say it is over, that is it, no tears, it is OVER! I
don't even look back. Life has too many good things
waiting for me yet and there is no reason for me to be
focusing on the past. That is messed up. Its like crying
over stupid spilled milk, like a five year old. My mother
tells me that it took her forever to get over her first
marriage, but I think that I should not be expected to go
through the same period of mourning as her, simply because
I am her daughter. Call my stupid, but I am seriously
enraged here. I know, being 18, I am the BABY of the family
and my parents (although I am a junior in college) still
treat my like they are changing my diapers every day. It
makes me sick! I am an adult, dang it. I choose who I
date, I choose when i come home and I don't need a freaking
babysitter like them all the time. drives me CRAZY that
they still think they have control over me. I have my own
house now, my own life, 10 hours away from them....i need
to grow as an individual, not into the girl that THEY want
me to be...the woman i am meant to be. I want to date,
dang it, i should date whom I please. I am so mad right
now, feeling totally like they do not respect my adulthood,
it just makes me crazy!!! I just don't see what the problem
is, if I get married at 19, well, then I just do. It is
meant to be. They are trying to shelter me from there and
now I remember why i moved to a completely different state
to get away from them. I need space. I cannot wait until
Friday when my dad leaves. I love him, but I am sick of
having a parent around all the time to tell me how to live
my own independent life. that makes me nuts. well, i
better go to bed and cool off....ughhhhh!!!! i want to
scream all the time, and then I have laura, my "mom",
actually just a little girlfriend of Shane's...but she
thinks she is head of this household. don't think so,
woman, you can take your snobby little ways and shove them
up your ass. night all.

sarah