2002-04-24 03:17:36 (UTC)


29 days remain till May 23rd. That puts a smile on my face
everyday. Almost half way through the week as well. The
Next big thing going on in my life would be May 4th. My
first Road Trip with Dezeray's Hammer. We are traveling
to Raleigh, NC to do a show. Im stoked. Im a huge fan of
these guys and It's great but anyway

Topic of the day....Nothing really interesting but whats on
my mind is why can't i find a girl. Some like me but are
like 14=15 years old. Im sorry but I'm 18 well almost 18
and i would just feel embarassed to date someone 15 or
younger. hell i think 16 is a little young. Some girls
out there just don't know how to act. I have or had a
couple of girls i think that i would like. Well i knew it
wouldn't last. im chicken shit when it comes to things
like this. I can say ill do it, but then i wont.
Sometimes i will but other times i wont. Im so afraid to
put my heart out and tell people how i feel about them.
If i had one instant that she liked me, then i would go.
But i tried telling a girl that i liked her. It worked for
a while. l ike a couple of months. We broke it off well
she did. It was for the best but we have remained really
close friends. Friends nothing more. I still find
myself thinking about what could have happened if we had
stayed together. And i still get a little jealous to see
her with someone else. Im human. It still amazes me that
the onlygirl that likes me lives 700 miles away and as much
as i would LOVE for our relationship to grow alittle while
graduation high school, I'll probably find myself letting
her go b.c well i dunno why. Maybe it's for the best. I
also thought about trying to find someone at school. Hell
i have 29 days left till graduation. If it doesn't work
out, I never have to see them again. I might do that. i
dunno. I've had about 3 girlfriends in my life. the first
one, Nikkie, was i guess a trial run. I hate to call it
that but we were just testing the waters. She was a little
young..2 years younger . She grew to be a pyscho. I
dumped her after a couple months. Then came his other
girl, Holly. I dunno about you, but have you dated someone
and then you think what was i thinking??? Holly was that
one. This was probably my most serious relationship.
Thigns got heated with us... not fighting and arguing.
Infact we never fought. Which was probably the thing i
hated most about our relation ship. i dunno but things
were good and i still to this day dunno why i really broke
her heart. Twice in 2 weeks really. My last relationship
was with the girl i talked about earlier. The one i
actually wrote her a note tellign her how i felt, and stole
some flowers from a neighboors yard and placed them on her
car for her to find the next morning. Cheesy i know. I
just wish i had someone. But i am glad that i have my
friends. I really don't know what i would do without
them. Anyway i'm headed to bed.

feel good music of the day.... anything acoustic. "the
press' by aaron whisnant, 'Iris' Goo goo dolls, and Barra
Barra by Hans Zimmer (he did the score off Black Hawk