WoundedArms887

Questions Of Life
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Ezoic
2002-04-23 03:49:13 (UTC)

Question #1

Today I have a new question to ask the world. Why does God
try to trick us with good days?. Today is a day I will
never forget. This morning my mother had surgeory and I
woke up at 3:00 (technically I didn't wake up cuz I never
really slept). She went through surgeory in flying colors
which is totally different from her last surgeory, which
she had problems with, then had to have surgeory again.
When I did get to school I was so upset, almost positive
something would go wrong again. Finally at 12:30, I call
the hospital from school to make sure shes okay and they
say that shes great and that she will be walking soon!
WALKING! On the first day! Thats impossible! Already the
day is looking up and then I get to 3rd hour, and win my
kickball game, then 4th hour, get a 98 on my test. Then 5th
hour strikes. Something happens, Im called down to the
office and none other than Brian Fischer, my sexual abuser,
is standing in the office. "Come with me" he says. "No" I
say. He picks me up drags me to the parking lot and starts
yelling "slut" and "bitch" and "ho" to me. I cant help but
cry. After this is finished I go back to class, but take a
major Advil fix on the way there. When I enter class, I
seem fine, but then sadness takes over and I begin to cry.
Best friend Brian asks whats wrong, I tell him and he says
hes going to kick his ass. I find this hard to believe,
Brians good at telling people he cares, but not good at
showing it or actually following through. He promises
everything will be okay. Well...that was relief. 6th hour
was nice, finished my work, got candy. Not like the usual
depressed, everyones asking whats wrong, i really want to
hug Brian but he wont 6th hour. Just a good ol' sixth hour.
School ends, Im happy, run home, throw down my bags and
watch some tv. Run out get some food, get a bible for my
friend , go to bible study find out its cancelled, go visit
my mom in the hospital for 2 1/2 hours. Sitting staring out
the window when I realize I want to go home so bad. Not
home, but home, Washington D.C. I keep these feelings
inside. Finally its time to go. We go home, and I call
Michelle. Of course, shes upset about Brian. But thats
nothing new. I call Brian, busy. Call him again, busy, Call
him again busy. Finally phone rings, says its Brian. But
when I answer the phone to my surprise its Brians Mom. Now
Brians mom isn't just a friends mom. Brians mom is so cool.
Shes a counseler, and she really cares. Time flys by like
its only been 5 minutes and I realize its been 20 and Ive
told her half my lifes story. So todays a good day. A good
day compared to the rest. But I wonder, or should I say i
KNOW. Tomorrow will be bad. Bad like the others. Bad like
allllll the others. Hopefully this will end soon. But until
I have my brother back, I wont have my life. And brothers
not coming back, so my life isn't either. Someday I'll get
over it. But today. No. Not today.


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