down in my eyes
2002-04-22 12:15:10 (UTC)

cold hands.

My hands are really cold right now. I'm tryen to pull
down the sleeves, over 'em.. but it keeps slipping.
Once again, i'm inflicted with insomnia, 'n idunno why.
I think its too much anxiety,..'n i'm too stressed.
thats what Margaret told me earlier, anyways.

Today's technically Monday...
i caant believe i'm accually leaving tomorrow. I could
still cry all night.. 'n i AM really stressed. 'N i'm
not even done packing yet. I have aloot to do, later on
taday. Too much. my stomache huurts.. 'n my eyes, 'n
my mind is soo tired, from crying alll day.

He's online right now. He's not talking to me tho, 'n i
dont know why. I feel so alone, tho he's so near.
I wish i knew what he was doing, on the other side.
I hate ..not knowing,.. 'n anticipating.. It IS 4am tho.
Why does everything i do, go wrong? Soo... that's exactly
why i caant open to the truth. I'm scared things will
shattter. but im already broken into pieces...
I really dunno what to think..

All i kno.. is i really care about him... soo much.
I really dont know if HE cares, tho. That'll make me
the haappiest person.. if only iknew.... if he cares.