ShadeofGrey

Desperately Wanting...
2002-04-22 02:25:18 (UTC)

It's in my mind, I wanna tear it up....

It's still there. But not so much today. I left work early.
Clock in a whole 50 minutes at the fine establishment of
Target today. It was really scary. I couldn't hear but I
knew people were talking to me and my vision got kind of
blurred and when I went to get my phone out of my purse to
call my mom...my hands were shaking really badly. But I
came home and layed down for a while. Feeling much better.
I called Chet and he was all ahh I'm worried, which is
adorably comforting. So he came over about 3 o'clock. And
he just left. It's 10. We sat around all day. Watched The
Skulls. (I think he's secretly got a thing for Paul Walker.
Heh not really...he's just cool because "he drives sexy
cars"). Then I remembered that I needed elastic so I could
finally finish making my pants in Clothing. So we went to
CVS. Super Kmart (super my ass!). Home Depot. Meijer ---
finally! elastic was found! He makes me laugh. Forget that
I don't feel very well. He made the monkey face!! And I got
a picture. If you were me, you would realize what an
accomplishment this was. When I'm with him, I don't think
about anything else. But now that he's gone, I'm thinking
about it. And I'm still confused. Because we still haven't
talked about it. I dont know what I would say. Or what he
would say. What would happen? I want to know. Need to know.
But I'm tired of thinking about it. Because it isn't fair.
Because I know he isn't. Or at least, I'm pretty sure. I
doubt he sits at home wondering. Maybe he does. Doubt it.
heh. I just want to do this. So my mind can be occupied
with other things. Heh. Like it's not already filled with
eighty-five things at one time anyways. Enough already.
Let's salvage what we can. Because I think it's worth it.
You're worth it to me. But does it go both ways?

“Here comes that feeling again, you're always around me,
this island life never ends it just circles inside me and
when we're older we'll go back to being friends but, oh
here comes that feeling again” - Counting Crows




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