redstarfish2

No Matter How Hard I Try...
2002-04-21 23:04:25 (UTC)

oh gosh

Ok, this is probably going to sound really weird and I hope
Chris doesn't know I have a diary or it will make things
weird. I like Chris, I really do. But for those of you who
know me, you know I don't have many relationships that last
long. My longest relationship was 2 years, 2 months. That
preson died. That was the summer before 7th grade-8th
grade. Last year, adn every year except this year, I was a
grasshopper. Jumping from guy, to guy, to guy. My longest
relationship last year was 5 weeks and the shortest was 8
hours. My average realtionship lasts about 1-2 weeks. Maybe
I have a problem with commitment. That or I think it's
simply that I dont want to get hurt and I don't want to get
attached. Lets put it this way, since 5th grade I have
dated 52 guys. Out of those guys, 1 has dumped me. 1! I
dumped every other guy. Trish keeps telling me not to drop
Chris, to let it last a little while. She told me I let go
of every good thing that comes my way. I guess she's right.
I just don't want to get into anything serious and then
have to bail out. Am I too picky? Maybe. But at least I
usually don't get hurt. I have only been hurt by breakup's
2 times. I kinda envy people who'd realtionships last and
don't go to hell, but I am happy for them. It isn't an aww
I wish I could ahe that type thing, it's more of why can't
I let that happen type thing. Well, I should shut-up and
burry myself in my hole. lol. Love you guys.




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