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As I have felt before I feel the pains of everything
falling upon me once again and I find myself only talking
of pain. I have read my past entries and they are of death
and horrible things but the thing is I really dont mind. I
mean, who cares. I really have nothing happy to write
about. There could be one or two I think but are they worth
writing compared to the many misaries my life hold?
Well maybe I do have something to write about. My love.
Maybe not my love, my hearts most desire! He is my one true
love even though i will never have him. I can always hope
that it would happen right? I can think of him in my
dreams. Or I could not think of him at all and wish that we
can be friends forever. I miss him but sometimes I find
myself not even thinking anything of him. He is sometimes
my closest friend but then my farthest enemy. What can I
not be certain of. him!
The bits and spells of my depression eat at me to disappear
from this world and never return. I only wish to god I can
hold myself until I am happy once again and not broken away
from my spirit.
I wonder if this happens to everyone or just the weird
ones. The ones who are like me. I will never know because
no one can ever tell me or feel this way. I am doomed from
life forever. catch me before I fall.