Bitch Session
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2001-05-28 21:39:47 (UTC)

Usual Junk

Today seems to be one of those typical weekend days with
him when I end up feeling kinda left out. I hate feeling
that way, but cant seem to communnicate to him just what
that means. I try to say how I feel he has his own agenda
and his own timetable for doing things. He never really
seems to understand what I'm talking about though. Is it
really that difficult to understand?? I guess maybe to a
GUY! (sorry guys) But all I ever really get is this
sarcastic bullshit back from him and this automatic
response of "Oh, it's THIS talk again." well, excuse the
shit outta me but I dont think we'd have to have "this talk
again" if he could just get it....ONCE! Sure, I get the
occasional admission. I even got the admission once about
computer obsession...what a BIG one that was! But, it's
always a temporary admission, perhaps made just to placate
me at that moment. But it grows so tiring...

I just wish he could understand what I'm talking about when
I say I need for him to be a part of it all. I need to
feel that he's a part of this home and our decision-making.
I despise coming second, third, and fourth to the damn
computer all the time. What's up with that? And it isnt
about needing him to WORK all the time here at home and
always be busy doing chores. Nope! But it IS about joining
in and having a clue about what goes on in this house and
figuring out not only HOW to help, but also WHEN to just
jump in and lend a really small hand in things. It isnt
exactly rocket science! Maybe if it was he'd be able to
get it cause he IS a very intelligent kinda guy...

So, how do you get your point across without being a bitch
or a nag all the time? And how do you seek out his
attention without being perceived as so NEEDY all the
time? How can one moment be SO great and so PERFECT and
the next be so completely full of misunderstanding and
anger? Am I supposed to suck it all in and make it
magically stop bothering me? Or does it grow and become
some deep-seated resentment between us? I really hope that
isnt the course as we both deserve to feel like we're part
of a team in our lives together. But when that team only
has two players ignoring opinions of one isnt really an