*~*My Diary*~*
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2002-04-20 05:31:42 (UTC)

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i just realized how much music has an effect on me. By
listening to a song or two i can go from a good mood, or ok
to extremely sad. I'm listening to True Colors from the
Save The Last Dance soundtrack. it makes me think about the
barrier i put up between me and my friends. I don't want to
do it, but thats just how it is. Theres only a few people
who see past a happy face. The only way i can keep myself
stable is to act like i'm happy most of the time. Or at
least around my friends...by not letting them see the other
part of me, i feel like i'm not letting them get a chance
to know me. Don't get me wrong, there are a few people who
know me really well...well enough to know that i'm not as
happy as i appear to be. Self discovery is an amazing thing
and i probably won't take advantage of that until my late
30s or so. I'm gonna start working on that. I miss my
regular hang out crew this weekend! I wish i could sneak
out, i probably could if my parents had regular sleeping
patterns...but no!! well

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