Catrina Can't Figure It Out
fist fightin: a guy grabbed my ass!
its raining here, and i am listening to the thunder. i love
the rain, its so peaceful. i love the way it smells outside
in the summer when it first starts to rain. anyways, not
too much happened today, but a lot happened last night!
i went to this bar with my best friend, her boyfriend,
and some other friends. anyways, i was walking ahead of
them when we were leaving and i was digging in my purse for
my valet-parking stub. i stopped to wait for my friends who
i had left behind a little ways. this guy walking from the
other way grabbed my ass! i was so pissed-i hit him in the
sholder (i kick boxed for 4 years competitively!). but my
guy friends saw it and then the big fight broke loose. my
friend nate got hit in the side of the head and cut above
his eye. R, my best friends bf, had two guys jump on him
and busted his nose. he has two big black eyes now and i
think his nose is broken. after nate got hit, he ran and we
didnt know where he went. we couldnt find him anywhere. i
thought he was passed out in an alley somewhere. i was so
worried. eventually we got a call and he had taken a cab
back to his place. R didnt quit bleeding for almost 2 hrs
and i almost took him to the ER. but being the big tuff guy
that he is, he wouldnt let me. i felt so bad!! this is the
second time my cute butt has gotten my friends into fights!
its not my fault i am so irresistable!!! haha !!!
anyways, today i went over to nate's house. i almost stayed
over there last night. we went to bed at about 4, and we
snuggled up. it felt so good! he is an amazing snuggler. he
fell asleep with both of his arms wrapped around me so
tight. but the dogs were being loud and i couldnt sleep so
i left at about 5am. Nate and i hooked up a LITTLE bit one
night. but we only fooled around a little and that was it.
he has tried to get me to stay over other times but i didnt
want to. he is such a slut. i know he has a different girl
there every night. i just wanted to snuggle and i made him
behave himself. so i was over there tonight and i think he
wanted me to stay but i didnt want to tonight so i came
home and got a little high. i think he would be an awesome
boyfriend, but only with the right girl, and i dont think
that that is me. so i will just use him for snuggling and
kissing purposes only. he is there for my needs,at least i
am only there because of my needs, and that is all i need.
B, my best friend(girl) , and i had a long talk about
boys tonight. she is sure that i will find mr. right but i
get more and more skeptical each day. it is sad that i am
only 20 years old and i am so jaded about men and about
relationships. the one guy i actually really cared about in
the last year, since the brake up with jake, is Campbell.
he is amazing. he is EVERYTHING i have been looking for. i
just dont think that i am ready for a relationship. B
actually adores Campbell, which is suprising considering
she hasnt approved of a guy ive dated in quite some time.
But i told campbell that we couldnt be friends because
right now my head is talking but if i hang around with him
i would just begin to care for him more and more. besides i
dont think i could handle being just friends, i mean what
if he started dating someone else seriously. that would
kill me. i would rather not know. but B says that i should
try to be friends with him and maybe eventually we would
get back together. (BACKGROUND ON CAMPBELL: we dated my
freshman year in high school, i am a senior in college now.
we hung out ALL of one weekend (recently) and it was amazing
it was like we never missed a beat, and i hadnt seen him in
5 years! it was so wonderful. but we both got scared
because it was moving so fast, so we both decided to break
it off. however, he asked if we could be friends and i said
no. that was my decision.
so i sit here and wonder if i should try to reenter his
life. any advice out there????? help!!!! i think if we
gave "us" a chance he could very well be the one for me.
should i pursue, or should i leave it to fate to bring him
back to me???? i would love to hear from anyone who has
some feedback. otherwise, i will sit here all night and
think of him. but i would do that anyways.
i think i am going to go see a doctor next week if i
dont start sleeping regular hours soon. once i am asleep i
am out! but its getting to sleep that i cant seem to
manage. so i will go, not to bed. i dont know what ill do.
think happy thoughts about me and campbell!!!!!