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2001-05-28 07:17:50 (UTC)

i miss you.

right now.
i miss you.
but i will never let you know.
most times. i dont allow myself.
to think of the memories i hold.
its amazing after all the drugs i did.
you would think
i would have killed enough brain cells.
to forget.
but you latched on to me, inside.
your burried into me
like a gopher. in a hole.
you know.
you were the only thing.
that ever came close to making me.
my skin is torn.
and bleeding.
but still you dont escape.
you wont leave me alone.
after all the torment and hate.
after everythign i suffered.
i wish you would just go away.
i dont need you in my life.
i dont wish for you to stay.
you made me weak.
you made me cry.
you were the only one.
i ever let in.
and i didnt have to try.
thats why i hate you.
you made it so easy for me
to believe all the lies
but youre making it so difficult.
to forget the times.
we had.
and i hate you.
with so much passion there arent words to express.
no amount of writing or crying
will put you to rest.
you infested me with a hatred and lust.
too powerful even for me.
the one who never cares about anyone.
the one who never loves.
the one who everyone thinks they know.
but no one did.
until you.
and now
i dont even know what i am
or where.
the winds have changed.
nothing is the same.
my thoughts are deranged.
and this time.
i am the vitim.
and i am left to fend on my own.
and i was strong. although you thought i was weak.
i handeled your shit.
i got throught it.
and i am better than i could have ever been with you.
and still.
i miss you.
right now.
but i will never let you know.

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