Truth, Love and Lies
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2001-05-28 06:20:18 (UTC)

Sweet Justice

As I sit alone in the darkness of the room, I begin to
think about him again. That guy named Justice. The past
few days, he has been haunting me like no one else could.
It is amazing how the world works out, or does not work
out. I am very faithful in God and in his purpose for me,
but I have also just broken up with a love of mine and feel
as though society will condemn me if I do not go through a
proper period of mourning. However, I am OVER Reco, in the
fullness of the word. I do not love him, nor do I ever
care to be with him in unison again. I do not love Reco.
I feel as though there is another man in my path which I
will run into. I feel as though God may be pulling me to
Justice and Justice to me. I want to do God's will, but it
is so hard to know what God wants for me when everyone is
trying to have expertise on my life. How do they all know
what is right for me. How can they tell me that I should
not go on a date with him. I should date if I believe it
is right and if the church is against me dating then i
should leave the church, because i do not agree that a
person must be in a state of total chastity. they simply
just do not have SEX before marriage, but there is nothing
in the bible which says that one cannot date a person whom
they find attractive. What is so wrong with a person being
attractive to you. That is how one finds their mate.
Sure, God leads them to you, but at the same time, i do not
understand how a person gets there without dating. I guess
I just do not understand God's ways yet. show me scripture
that rebukes what i will do, that is to have company with a
person who seems to be in a good light to me, and I will
stop. Until then, i find nothing wrong with what i am
doing. I find Justice attractive and therefore should DATE
him, or at least get to have one date with him. Surely,
that cannot be a sin! I will pray about it, but I wish I
knew what to do about it. I feel as though my heart is
telling me it is safe to proceed, isn't that what I should
be listening to????? My heart, the Holy Spirit speaking
inside of me, or is it???? I guess only time and the Lord
will tell. i trust that all will work out, i just wish i
had a companion to hang out with. With doug gone now, it
is very quiet and lonely here. I wish for a friend to take
up some time. Destiny and John got married now and I just
feel all alone. She is married. In love, and doing God's
will. I want to be good and be patient, but i want to be
loved too by man...i guess that is sinful. I pray tonight
for resolution or make me stop thinking about him, or think
about him more.... i just don't know. help me lord.


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