Chapter One: The Evil Within
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2002-04-19 05:46:00 (UTC)

Singular to Plural and then it Suspends

As I watch the days turn into day, and the time inch
slowly closer to the inevitable I long more and more for
just a slight embrace... and then ^BAMM!!^ The
possibilities all rush in like a tidal wave coming to
consume my body... What happens if I dont even get that
embrass that I so long for, the one that I dream of every
night, the one that I wish I could have every minute of
everyday... I said I would never let go, and I did, how
foolish was I? How could I do that too myself... no what if
that embrass is no longer welcome.... no longer needed?
What will I do if I never get that embrass again... what
will I do? I can tell you what, I will go insane with the
suspention of that hold, I will cry non-stop, or at least
whenever I think. I will never smile, let alone laugh, and
I will walk around, distant from everyone, the world, and
thats how its going to be... ohh dear god, please dont let
there be a suspention... let there be sanity, let my father
be wrong, and everyone else be right... let this be right,
let my feelings be right... let everyone be right... I dont
want any more drama in my life, i want it to be all good
for a while at least, but I suppose that would be too much
to ask, so for now I will just go curl up with my paper,
pen and pencil, and draw, doodle and write my sorrows and
feelings away. Maybe one day it will all work out... and
yet again... maybe not....

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