.Scream Your Dream.
be sad like sarah
read live journals of people you hate.
fight with your mom.
say mean things.
hate yourself and everyone around you.
miss everyone you love, because no one stuck around for the
end like they promised.
listen to the same song over and over again.
this is so fucking easy for you, you take it for granite. i
have to bust my ass for everything. and there you go. just
do it, just stay out all night. dont try. dont care. thats
just you, right. dont call.
fuck you. this is fuckin bull shit. you are so fucking
arbitrary. decide what you want to be. now you decide to be
a parent, now you decide to care. thats nice. i see how it
is, how it always is. i love how you fucking leave me every
other week, yeah it sure is great, sure is great getting
dumped at my dad's, lots of fucking fun, easy for you to
say, you left him. you dont know what i deal with.
AND you, you just randomly show up in my life, when you
can, when you want, and expect anything, time favors
whatever, and complain. fuck that and fuck you. tap my
desk. cause thats what i want, i dont even want to talk to
you. you drive me crazy. get me in more trouble, why not.
get out of my life. i dont babysit. you are pretentious and
you cant fucking teach, maybe i could respect you just a
little bit if you werent eerily enough JEFF RAUM grown up.
scarry thought, dont you think. go rape some little boys.
if you are fucking with me. that's it. im done.
YOU get mad at me. you think IM untrustworthy, wow. you got
another thing commin buddy. to think i respected you so
much, wow was i dissillusioned. only thing you were ever
good for in my life was a nice song you told me, thats all.
leave your pretention and ego at the door, i dont want to
fuckin hear it. youre an asshole with horrible self esteem,
you tear up on my freinds, and get mad at me for being
honest. you fucking suck, you are so selfish., you'd ditch
your own mother if it meant your band would become
successful. be responcible. whats important to you anyway,
tell me, oh wait you wouldnt. good bye.
you fucked up kid, fucking her up like that. who are you,
just as insecure as the next, wow you think you are so
cool, so proud because you have friends in high places, you
are a loser. you are shy and quiet and a fucking pussy. you
like to threaten, that makes you so tough.
wow tonight is bad if im tearing up on these people.
so figure it out, you know the answer, you know right and
wrong, who's intentions are pure, whos are sordid. doesnt
take a bible to figure this one out. not close. your
conscience thats all. thinking, thought, thats all. nothing
more than what you do every day.
one last one, becasue you i will never forgive you. our
friendship has never been the same, and obviously it never
will. i hate you for your face not just the things you do.
i cant believe you. lets think some adjectives, my favoire
first, pretentious, munipulative, lying, FAKE, user,
inconsiderate, cold hearted, mean, there are more, but i'll
spare you. its not just me, im over it, i could tell, you
left him like i knew you would. he was your own game, your
own quest for personal satisfaction, you leave who ever in
your tracks. and you did. fuck you. i regret everything.
even letting you get close to me. i will tell you nothing
now, you have none of my trust. stop doing crappy jobs,
stop telling me what to do, this isnt pleasing me, id
rather see you leave my life, gone forever, not even a post
card the you stay here, hurting things. i see your face, i
cringe. oh. you will never no. you apologized once and you
didnt even know why, and not even for what i cared about.
thats just you. simple. easy. you have one mind, this place
isnt for you. you just want to leave. be so much cooler,
find so much greater people than you arleady have.
so thats all. i hope you all know that what i wrote was a
product of frustrations and weeks upon weeks of no home
cooked meals (thanks mom!) love you too. end it now.
arbitrarily. decide when to care, when you want the power,
not the responcibilty. it will always be like this, untill
i become smart enough to leave you here. your life isnt for
me. i dont wnat to be you.
no one call write or try to contact me. im done for a bit.
sad times. thats when i needed you the most. and where were
you. where were you ever. where were any of the people that
were supposed to be here. id love for you to see me now.
well you do see me now, but see me for real. what ive
become, not just the disapointment you have to settle with.
what ive really become. you dont even bother to look. open
up your selfish eyes you fucking ass hole.
kill me with this one sad song playing over and over again.