camicazy

'black' thoughts

today's not a good day. perhaps it's because this week
wasn't a good week. i wanna go out tonight...just to get
this stress off my back...just to try to subdue this anger
that i feel. but somehow i don't wanna go out tonight..cuz
i've got work to do. unfortunately, no matter how hard i
study, no matter what i do, i can't get the marks that i
need. and i hate it.

the weather is nice and dark and cold. but i hate today. i
hate this week. i want everything to be over.

i see patches of flowers with only their stems sticking
out...the red and pink and orange petals littering the
brown ground underneath them. they are dying. but they will
come alive again. i wish i can be like them. i want to die.
and then be reborn. only to die again.

i am a person underestimated and overestimated at the same
time.

happy people bore me. when i read their works that is. they
bore me. but i don't mind hanging around with happy
people...heck i try to come across as a happy person
everyday. it's just that i think most of them hardly ever
stop and think. when they do, they think about matters so
trivial...like bed sheets for one.

i want black bed sheets by the way. and i want to paint my
bedroom walls black. i'll have to wait till i move out to a
more decent apartment.

blood on my mouth beats blood on the ground. incubus has
never said it better.