ramblings from a 'hollie'
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2002-04-19 00:33:22 (UTC)

Daves gonna break me

I went to see dave after one whole day of ignoring him.
That was difficult shit cuz i wanted to molest him so bad.
but anyway, we hung out and his rommie came home and people
showed up. Then they disappeared and it was on. No we
didnt get it on that way....he told me we had to stop soon
and that i should ignore him tomarrow. And i was like
thats not gonna happen. it just hurt when he said that.
he is going to guam to see his wife for 2 weeks and then
she is coming here for 2 weeks. then he goes to b-
noc...and then they will leave japan and i will feel double
used. I already feel like a rag doll....and jaye is mad at
bree cuz she didnt tell her the truth about sleepin with
some Darren guy. I didnt tell anyone about 'mystery guy' It was just
sex but i still want someone to tell me everything
is ok and not just leave me stranded while they continue on
with there lives...with me as the girl on the side who
understands. and i do understand that hes married and loves
his wife but i dont understand why he is still fuckin with
me when he leaves so soon. I told him I was gonna get hurt
over this. If he would just treat me like he is using me
like 'mystery guy' did then I wouldnt be having a complex with the
situation. Dave wants me to meet his wife. And everyone
already thinks we are 'together' so when she gets here i
think its a bad idea to hang around. Maybe Ill go to guam
to see Bree when his wife comes.
No self esteem here....

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