Candi

Lost once again

I'm lost once again.
In life, in school, among friends
I don't know where I belong
Where do I go and what to do
I want to be happy
Happy
What is that?
It's been so long
I'm not settled
I'm not comfortable with who I am
I'm not sure about who I will become
To tell you the absolute truth
I'm scared
really really scared
I want to let go of the past
Move onto the future
I can't just roll over and pretend
I just want to go home and sleep
Watch some cartoons
Play with my dog
Relax and go swimming
No one is there
I shouldn't need anyone to help me
But I need help
And I am calling for it so loud
But no one hears me
Or comes at all

Right now I am just being destuctive
To myself, fortunatley not to others
I am going to ruin everything
There are so man balls in the air
And I will catch them eventually
But right now they are just up in the air
One by one
I will either drop them
Or catch them
And I only have two hands

I have to go...
Here comes a ball