Gypsy

A Crazy Persons Thoughts
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2002-04-18 03:58:18 (UTC)

it's been a few months

i guess things will never be the same. the hospital was
fucked up, but i did learn alot. and if anything, the kids
there accepted me. not only that, but i was almost normal
compared to them. they liked me and accepted me, and only
because they understood and related.

my life is so different now. my friends are different.
school is the same. im pretty much failing. i dont know how
to get out of that. oh well. i've gotten used to the fact
that i've failed. i look forward to the day i can start
over.

im not as bitter. im too burnt out. i guess im getting used
to all the shit that goes on. I supose one day ill have a
normal life. maybe even a good one. i've certainly payed my
dues. of course then again, im not going to expect that.
that is how i got fucked up in the first place. thinking
that things might actually go ok.

not all my life is bad. danny is good. it's so weird. How
can i love someone so normal, when im so fucked up. and
even stranger, how can he care for me? i dont know if he
loves me or not. i've stopped stressing over it. i cant
help feeling the way i do. he's the only one that has been
there for me. he didn't run away when things got shitty.
he's strong like that. maybe even naive. he wants to take
care of me. and i love that. i want to be taken care of. at
least someone wants to do it. still, i hope someday he can
love me. maybe if i work real hard at being normal.

lol who am i kidding.

ah well, even if we brake up. who cares. life goes on. like
i said before, but with much less anger. Fuck them all.
this life is a bitch, and that's the way things are. Better
to learn to live with it than to fight it.


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