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2002-04-17 09:37:02 (UTC)

17.04.02 - The ghost he saw.

Oh God. I'm still getting over the stress of yesterday.
One of my best friends Dylan got hit by a car, and he hurt
his spine and neck. I felt so bad for him literally.
During the exact time he got hit I felt a sharp pain in my
back. Well, it's not really a surprise to me, I do have
certain impathic qualities; not many, but some.

But do you know what it's like knowing someone over the
internet and not being able to really SAY that you love
them and everything will be alright? I learnt what that
felt like today. All I can do is send him dumbass
emoticons, that are completely devoid of feeling.

While he was in the hospital he saw a ghost, which did
surprise me because Dylan doesn't believe in ghosts. Well,
he does now I suppose. Later on, he found out someone had
died in that same ward exactly 10 years ago to date. God,
that would have freaked me out, even though I'm used to
ghosts by now. It's not bad enough that his life is so
screwed up?

All of the people he loves have died or betrayed him. I
just want to say to him so much that I will ALWAYS love
him, and I will never just up and die on him. The bond I
think is deeper than friends...it's like we were meant to
be friends forever and ever and y'know what? I was probly
his friend in a past life as well.

Anyway, in an attempt to cheer me up, Mike made all these
smartass comments about Dylan's being hit by a car, and I
just exploded. I called him an insensitive asshole, and I
blocked him for a while. Then he went into one of his
depressions, all like "everyone hates me" and getting all
sad. It took me 10 minutes to cheer him up, which on the
internet is a lot.

Both Amy and Mike think I need to get my head out of the
clouds and meet some guys in real life. There are some
techies at the base school apparently. I love techies.

So Mike's going to get these techie guys to meet me. From
what it sounds like, no girls ever notice them because
they like DBZ and computers and anime and RPGs. Well I
love all of those things and I'm looking forward to
meeting some guys who like the same.

Meanwhile, Amy I think is getting herself into trouble
with an internet guy. He's a really nice guy, but he's
also 19, and she's never met him before, and she wants to
meet him. She had a premonitional dream, which I won't
post here because it's private, which basically meant that
her life was going to plunge into a black hole. I was
feeling upset about Dylan still, so I actually said this,
with no sensitivity.

That was odd for me because I'm usually a very sensitive
person. But I was harsh to both Amy and Mike and I'm sorry
for it. And I want to make it up to them. They've been my
best friends recently with the whole Dylan getting hit by a car
thing and with my best friends in Germany, Paris, and Rome, they've
been really supportive.

I feel like I've neglected my usual friends because of
this. So I sent Stef some flowers (online of course). I
hope she realises I'm sorry. I can't send Jenna any,
because she is in Rome. And Kat is in Germany and I don't
know her email.

Ok so it's time for some stats:

My Mood: overwhelmed
Status of life: confusing
Status of story: 12 pages (suffering from writer's block)

Ok people, I have to go. Thank you for listening to my
ramblings. TTYL, and I love you all.


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